Audio Transcript
The battle in opposition to lust. That’s the subject this week — and the subject of many weeks earlier than, and probably the most dominant themes within the historical past of our podcast, as you possibly can see within the APJ ebook. There’s a time to defeat lust on the root, with the cross. That’s the theme that we’re going to select up subsequent time. However first, there’s a time to confront patterns of lust in others. That’s immediately, on this heartbreaking e mail from a shocked spouse.
“Hiya, Pastor John. My husband and I are each believers, married for many years, with an incredible marriage and stable relationship. Or so I believed. He by no means gave me any cause for doubt. He’s an elder in our native church. We’ve raised 4 kids collectively, all fortunately married and serving the Lord in several capacities. However I lately found on his telephone that he reads erotica — fictional tales full of specific sexual content material. It’s not visible pictures or movies, not porn within the conventional sense, however lurid descriptions in written prose. It was very disturbing to me. He’s a well-respected businessman of integrity, so discovering this darkish secret is disturbing and discouraging. How sinful is that this style? Ought to I confront him with it? I like him dearly, and he has been a really devoted and loving husband, and I don’t need to jeopardize my relationship with him.”
It’s severely sinful, and it is best to undoubtedly confront your husband with this. If he thinks it’s insignificant and doesn’t compromise his position as a church chief, then it is best to encourage him to share this together with his fellow leaders, elders, and present them what he’s studying and make sure that they approve. I don’t doubt that it is a disqualifying sinful sample. He must forsake this and search forgiveness and purity of coronary heart.
Now, I believe possibly essentially the most useful factor I may do is to help you in your troublesome confrontation of your husband. So, what I need to do is offer you — and anyone else who desires to hear in — ten questions that he ought to ask himself and which you could print out. (I don’t even know, Tony, whether or not all of the individuals who hearken to APJ notice that you’ve these transcribed, after which, after we submit them on Wanting God, folks cannot solely hear, however they’ll print them out. I’m drawing consideration to that right here as a result of I believe what could be useful for this lady to do is to go to DG and print out these ten questions.)
“The center is the first seat of holiness, and the ear is pretty much as good a pathway of corruption as is the attention.”
And possibly it is best to go over them along with your husband. I don’t assume you ought to be in any respect ashamed that you just sought out counsel about the right way to cope with this concern. You didn’t betray any confidences. No one is aware of however you and he what you’re coping with. Nor do I believe you ought to be ashamed of getting assist in formulating these questions (particularly, assist from me). That’s what we do; that’s what we’re within the ministry for. All of us are doing issues to assist one another. So, listed below are my ten questions that I believe he ought to ask.
I might simply say to all of our listeners, ask your self these questions with regard to what you’re watching on TV, what you’re watching on movies, what you’re listening to, what sort of audiobooks you’re listening to, podcasts you’re listening to. These are actually, actually useful questions for me, and I hope they are going to be for others.
Ten Looking out Questions
Query 1: On this erotic studying, are you searching for and setting your thoughts on the issues which might be above, the place Christ is?
If then you have got been raised with Christ, search the issues which might be above, the place Christ is, seated on the proper hand of God. Set your minds on issues which might be above, not on issues which might be on earth. (Colossians 3:1–2)
Query 2: On this erotic studying, are you setting your thoughts on issues of the flesh or of the Spirit?
Those that dwell in accordance with the flesh set their minds on the issues of the flesh, however those that dwell in accordance with the Spirit set their minds on the issues of the Spirit. For to set the thoughts on the flesh is loss of life, however to set the thoughts on the Spirit is life and peace. (Romans 8:5–6)
Query 3: On this erotic studying, are you fascinated by what’s honorable and pure and beautiful and commendable?
No matter is true, no matter is honorable, no matter is simply, no matter is pure, no matter is beautiful, no matter is commendable, if there may be any excellence, if there may be something worthy of reward, take into consideration this stuff. (Philippians 4:8)
Query 4: On this erotic studying, are you cultivating a coronary heart that may see God?
Blessed are the pure in coronary heart, for they shall see God. (Matthew 5:8)
Are you serving to that alongside?
Query 5: On this erotic studying, are you mistakenly assuming that the worst temptations come by the attention, not the ear?
However the temptation that ruined the entire world in Genesis 3 got here by the ear, from Devil’s voice. And so did the temptation of Jesus within the wilderness. The center is the first seat of holiness, and the ear is pretty much as good a pathway of corruption as is the attention.
Query 6: On this erotic studying, would you thoughts in case your fellow elders or church leaders knew what you had been studying, or are you content material to be a hypocrite?
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you might be like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly seem lovely, however inside are filled with lifeless folks’s bones and all uncleanness. So that you additionally outwardly seem righteous to others, however inside you might be filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness. (Matthew 23:27–28)
Query 7: On this erotic studying, do you pray with David for a pure coronary heart?
Create in me a clear coronary heart, O God, and renew a proper spirit inside me. (Psalm 51:10)
Are you praying that as you go there?
Query 8: On this erotic studying, are you organising a base of operations for the flesh?
Placed on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision [literally, make no base of operations] for the flesh, to gratify its needs. (Romans 13:14)
Query 9: Is that this erotic studying an indication of failing religion?
[The Holy Spirit] made no distinction between us [Jews] and [those Gentiles], having cleansed their hearts by religion. (Acts 15:9)
That’s what religion does: it purifies, it cleanses the guts. If this isn’t taking place, religion is in a dangerous situation.
Query 10: On this erotic studying, can Christ learn it with you, or are you pushing him away and saying, in impact, that this lust is extra fascinating than fellowship with Christ?
God is trustworthy, by whom you had been referred to as into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. (1 Corinthians 1:9)
The Christian life is fellowship — candy, shut communion with Christ. Is that friendship sustained by your erotic studying? Is he welcome to learn alongside, or are you pushing him away?
Brave Confrontation
Now, my counsel is that you just — I’m chatting with the spouse now — pray earnestly for the braveness to confront your husband and that you just pray for the preparation of his coronary heart to obtain your phrases.
I would simply add that I don’t imagine this humble, prayerful confrontation must be a contradiction of this spouse’s coronary heart of submission to her husband. Submission has by no means meant the endorsement of or the participation in a husband’s sin. The truth is, the willingness to take the chance and level her husband to the Lord generally is a lovely act of submissive self-sacrifice within the service of her husband’s holiness. That’s what we’re going to hope for.
